I got to stop thinking about the past. I don't want to relive it. Yea sure there are things that I would like back. but it's gone and I got to move on.
It's been difficult for me. But I'm getting better all the time. If there was a way to erase what I've experienced I don't think I'd do it. Everything that's happened to me makes me who I am.
I've decided that I'm going to grow out my hair to donate. What can I say? It easy and I'm lazy. Ten inches of hair here I come.
I think I'll be able to reach that he the end of July. Good thing to because I have a feeling I'm not going to have liking my hair by then.
There is a caveat to this. Wrote this yesterday then I lost the balls to post it. I'm an glad that I asked her though.
Ok lets see if I can write this. I've been thinking about this for a good day. Well not the whole day but when I get a chance to think. It didn't really start today either but from last year. But it picked up the past couple days. Ok one more line then I'll get to it very vaguely.
Should I take the plunge and see if something could work out or should I wait until life gets a little better/calmer. Or until the distance (physical) shrinks.
You know what? Vague is not going to work. So here it is. It's the age old dilemma. Boy meets girl (or vise versa) and they are friends. Then boy or girl thinks there could be more. Meanwhile the thinking party doesn't know if the feelings are mutual and doesn't want the friendship to collapse. So the thinker agonies over it. Well maybe not agonies but you get the point. Or regrets not saying anything.
Now I do believe, now that I've matured a little, that friendships of the opposite sex are possible. Saying that it has to be clear to both parties that there is more or less. It also may need to be stated more than once. (Someone might forget.)
I've done this before in high school. I had a crush on female friend and wanted more. (It might have been lust at the time.) However,I didn't know if the feelings were mutual. So in my guy smartness I didn't do anything about it. Oh and she was the first girl I have ever gotten to know outside of school that wasn't together with my brother.
Do I regret not saying anything? Not really. I have many regrets from that time. One is not being confident enough. I still have problems with that to this day.
I don't know what to do with this one. Part of me wants to find out of there could be more. The other just likes it where it is. Then there is the distance thing. It sucks greatly. I've done that with my first relationship. I'd admit we weren't the strongest couple. However, it didn't work out at all. I was half way around the world when I was dumped. That's not cool. I couldn't show emotion either because I was in a Cinnabon on a marine base. Fun times. I've digressed.
Why am I comparing what I'm doing now to what I've done in the past. Yes granted I need to remember what has happened so it doesn't happen again. But I've matured greatly as a person from then to now. I guess I'll bring up the topic tomorrow. Wish me luck.
I got it! I'm going to be the doctor! Boy howdy this is going to be tough. I'm going to check out the USC program soon. (That's University of South Carolina.) I want to do a seamless transition from undergraduate to graduate studies. I may take a break between as an EMT to gain experience. I am hoping the VA will pay for all my education. So the plan now is to go Monday to see if i can talk to an ER doc. Interview my doc. Tuesday and before that I'll call to see if i can sit in a class at MUSC. I'll then have to talk to vocational rehabilitation to see what they need me to do in order for them to pay for my education. And the road turns...
I made a choice today that will take my life in a direction that counter the last 2-3 years of my life. I going to take my life down the medical route. I thinking of being, at the least, an EMT or, at most, an ER doctor. I have been going to school be a teacher then a photographer and now this.
Ever sense being medically discharged from the Navy I've been trying to find myself again. It has been a difficult road. I do believe this will be the last major turn in my life for awhile. Things seems to falling into place now.
Hello world! This is my first foray into the blogging world. So bear with me and my misspelled words and randomness. The general direction I want to take this is my random thoughts. Well i would like to thank you for reading and come back for more.
